Friday, December 20, 2013

A Little Rant...

I try to keep a positive attitude about my condition, but sometimes it gets to me.  I never want this blog to be a “bitch fest” or have a “poor me” vibe, because that’s definitely not how I feel.  I know I have a great life and I also know I am not dying from MRKH, but sometimes I just want to scream. 

Lately I have been complaining to my husband about things that bother me (after all, isn’t that why you get married?), and he is wonderful.  He listens to me, gives me advice when I ask for it, and lends his shoulder for me to cry on.  He has also told me on a number of occasions that I should blog more because there are people out there at feel the same way as me, but like I mentioned before I never wanted this to be a place where I complain.

So here I go…I’m going to complain / vent for the next couple paragraph. 

I do not want to spend an ENTIRE party talking about leaky vagina's, breast feeding, formulas, fertility meds, trying to get pregnant, morning sickness, ultrasounds (which by the way, all look the same!)…You get the point.  I don’t want to sound like I don’t care about these things, because I do, however, I don’t not want to spend my Saturday evening in a group talking about these things.  I have absolutely nothing to contribute to these conversations and they sometimes make me sad ( I mean, I want a leaky vagina some day). I love having these conversations in one on one setting, with my friends, not at a party (ALL NIGHT LONG).  See the difference?

Baby showers…Please have alcohol.

I don’t really care to hear “you are so lucky that you don’t have your period”, “You will get to have a baby without going through the 9 months of pregnancy”, “At least your body wont change because of a baby”, “your boobs wont sag”…blah blah blah. I would rather be able to have a baby when I want, without having to spend tens of thousands of dollars and have my life and my family’s life looked at through a microscope.

The most challenging part of being in my 30’s has been dealing with MRKH.  I had always thought that it would get easier because things seem to get easier with time, but this does not follow that rule.  My friends are getting pregnant on purpose, and kids are everywhere.  I cant help but think constantly about how I cant give that to Jason right now.  I know he wants to be a dad, and he will be an amazing one when it happens. When life is ready for us to extend our family, it will be an amazing journey for us.

My 30’s have been pretty awesome. I have a great life, great family / friends, been on some amazing vacations.  I have a house I cherish, a pretty sweet husband, a dog and a cat who I love dearly and most importantly I am healthy and happy.