MRKH meeting

I've never been one to make MRKH a major focus of my life, but no matter how hard I try to imagine  that it's not a big deal, it is. I'm different. I've been different my whole life. I have felt like a freak, embarrassed,  ashamed, confused, I have questioned "why me", and I have felt alone. Even knowing that there are other woman out there like me, it didn't seem to matter.

Today that changed. For the first time I met 2 beautiful ladies that also have MRKH, and for the first time in my life, I felt like someone understands me.

We chatted about everything; family, sex, marriage, relationships, food, wine, jobs... What I appreciated most about our get together is that we are all in different places in our lives.  One is single and trying out the dating thing, one had been married for 20 years, and me...married for four years trying to figure the kid thing out.

I don't think you can truly understand how important it is to meet someone like you unless you are a little different. I'll be the first to admit I didn't see the importance in it, until today. It's a strange feeling...feeling like no one understands what you go through, and then all the sudden two people do.

Today was a day I will never forget. It made me feel normalish...it made me feel not alone...and it was awesome.

Enough sappy stuff! This post sucks! I don't think I laughed once writing it.

3 years blogging

Just realized it's been exactly 3 years today since I wrote my first blog post about MRKH. I don't do it as often as I would like, but it is pretty therapeutic. Thank you everyone for your love and support through this process.

Friends are People too

Yup, we are at that age. People are getting pregnant on purpose...I'm cool with that, as long as you don't start to suck as a friend.

-Still make time to hang out with your friends who don't have kids.
-Every once and a while, leave your kid with a parent, babysitter, grandparent and have a fun night out.
-Don't tell me I don't understand because I don't have kids (even if it's true).
- Let me compare my dog to your kid...it's fun 😊


That's all

Embarrassing Bodies

There is a show in the UK called Embarrassing Bodies, last night they did a show on MRKH. Check it out here:  

Thoughts on adoption...

I find the process of adoption frustrating. There are so many children who need loving homes, why are there so many obstacles for parents who want to provide a loving home for children?

Examples:
1) I found a "cheap" non profit open adoption company that starts their fees at $28,000 ( no, I did not misplace that comma) ha! $28,000?!? How could I afford to support after paying that amount?

2) Foster to adopt, you wait 1-2 years to get placed, then maybe have to give the child back.

3) International adoption...expensive, and unrealistic for us.  We would really like to help people in our own backyard.

Soooo, now I'm ready to get creative.  Go to the boarder and take one of the 50,000 children that our government doesn't know what do do with? Start a social media campaign?  Anyone have a good / creative idea? We are open to suggestion!

A little Easter inspiration

I don't talk much about religion, but I think about it often. Yesterday, I was inspired by something I read, and wanted to write my own version of  what I think God meant when he gave me MRKH.  So, here it is...

What do I think God meant when he gave me MRKH?

I think he meant for me to meet jason. I think he meant for us to become best friends, love each other like no one else can, have fun together, challenge each other, become stronger together and solve problems together. He wanted me to have a partner that I can cry to when I am having a bad day, and who is willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy. Even with the challenges of not being able to have a child the "traditional" way I still have a partner who I want to go through this with, because as much as MRKH sucks, I have someone who can somehow turn this situation into a good time.

Do I think God meant for me not to have children? No, I do not believe that is my destiny.  I think he wants me to take the road less traveled.  I believe he gave me MRKH to become more compassionate, develop inner courage, and use my humor to deal with difficult situations.  He wants me to enjoy the journey of life and not worry about the destination. He wants me to believe that this is not a bump in the road, but an opportunity to help children who I may have never thought of helping, and to share my story with others who might be dealing with something similar. He has given me opportunities. Like it or not, I believe I am a better person for this.

If I'm being honest, I think I'm special. I think God gave me MRKH to  make me realize how precious life can be.  He wanted me to stay humble, and appreciate the little things in life.  He is making me work for this, but when I finally have a child to hold it will be a feeling that only a few will understand. That baby, and everyone around me will know that we really wanted that child.

Of course I would not wish MRKH on anyone,  but I do believe it was given to me for a reason.  I am sure there are so many reasons that I haven't even figured out yet, but I am satisfied with my list of reasons so far.

I really need to do this more

I would like to blog more, but I struggle with how much to share about this process... Any thoughts?  When is it TMI? When do I keep these things private?