Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Finally, A Decision

Jason and I have spent the last 2 years or so exploring options and gather information.  Once I found out that I had working eggs and ovaries, and Jason had working “stuff”, we were pretty sure we were going to give the surrogacy thing a shot.   The problem is I am a little different from most women going through the surrogacy process.  Let me try to explain…

Apparently, a woman’s cycle is the center of the universe when it comes to this stuff… who knew!?!  The problem being, I don’t have a period so the only way they can tell when I am in the middle of my cycle is to do blood work every 3 days.   I can handle blood work, that’s the least of my problems.  The problems for me included:
  1.     .  Driving 45 minutes 3 times a week to get my blood tested.
  2.     My insurance not covering any of it ($275.00 per appointment).
  3.      I began to have little faith in the clinic I was attending. 

I will explain a little more about number 3.  My frustration started when I went into this clinic and they asked me every time “when was the last time you had your period?”  Then I would have to explain the situation AGAIN.  Is it too much to ask to put a little note in your chart, and maybe take 2 seconds to read it before calling me back?  Then, when I was at my last appointment the nurse said something to me that made me question if we were making the right decision. She said “after we figure out when you are on your cycle, you will need to start taking hormones and then we will need to see if we can find your ovaries on the ultrasound, this processes could take a while.”   If you remember from a previous post, they could not find my ovaries on the ultrasound, only on the MRI.  So when I asked her what would happen if I go through all of this and they cannot locate them on the ultrasound, she said “then there is no way we can take your eggs out.”  As soon as she said that I basically stopped listening.  She mentioned something about still being able to use Jason’s “stuff” and use someone else’s eggs, but we had decided a long time ago that if the child wouldn't be both of ours we would look at other options.  We decided there is too much risk in this process.  The hormones would be really hard on my body and the process is VERY, VERY expensive!  Not to mention, if we did all of those things and it didn't work, we just wasted a year or maybe more.  The chances for us were not great.

So….We have decided to give adoption a shot. It will also be expensive, emotional, frustrating at times, and challenging, but I think we are up for it.  There are so many kids out there that need a loving home, and we just want to be able to provide that.  Jason is wonderful and constantly reminds me that we don’t need a biological child to make us parents.   And, although we are both amazing people, have you seen my legs? Or Jason’s patchy beard hair?  Why would we want to pass those genes down?!  J  Wish us luck! 


  1. Good luck. I also have MRKH and myself and my husband are just starting on the adoption route too.

    Though sucks that you were spending all this money when they weren't completely up front with everything from the word go. Anyhow chin up and onwards and upwards. :)

  2. Yay!!!How exciting Jen-you will be an amazing mommy!

  3. I couldn't agree more :) not with the legs or beard hair part, but the part about so many kids needing a loving home, and that you don't have to have biological children to be great parents! I know you guys will be great, and am so excited you are going this route, only special people can adopt, and you are those people! Congrats on this step! XOXO

  4. Could you track your body temperature to get an idea when ovulation occurs?